Canada's 'housing bubble' deemed close to bursting
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Friday, June 24, 2011
Treat with dignity and respect
"Nobody and nobody wants to be treated like a child in an adult relationship, and it never works long term. If you are in a relationship that has an inbalance in it work on it. Try to find a way where you treat each other with dignity and respect. If you want long term, that's what its going to be, its give and take." ~ Dr. Phil
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Five Powerful Things Kids Need to Hear from Their Father, #fb
Five Powerful Things Kids Need to Hear from Their Father
by Esther Jantzen, Ed.D.
Dads, this is a grandmother speaking. I have a bit of advice about raising children, if you’re open to hearing it. I know you had hard times growing up. Maybe your father was nice to you, maybe he wasn’t. Maybe you knew him well, maybe you didn’t. Your kids will have hard times, too–they’ll have disappointments, fear, hurt, shame, uncertainty, anger. We all do. But never, ever underestimate the importance of a father to kids.
I’ll give you five statements here that children need to hear from their father. Face-to-face is great, if possible, or on the phone, in a letter, or in some other way. These words help give kids emotional strength. You might not use exactly these phrases, and you wouldn’t use them all at once, but please make sure your child gets the message behind these powerful words.
1. “I’m proud…” you’re my son or daughter. You can say this out of the blue; it does not need to be connected to any achievement, although it could be. They’ll also get this message when you say, “I notice … how your drawings are changing … how you seem happier… or how you’re doing better at school.”
2. “That’s okay… How can you learn from that?” Use this when there’s been a mistake or problem. It teaches kids it’s normal, necessary, and perhaps even healthy to make mistakes. We all do. The important thing about a mistake is what you can learn from it. If you can learn from it, the guilt and hurt often go away.
3. “I’m sorry…” for ____. Fill in the blank. Maybe it would be… for yelling at you the other night… for missing your ball game… for not keeping my promise. When adults apologize, kids learn how to clean things up between people, and that’s something they need to know. And, of course, the best apology is changed behavior.
4. “Tell me more…” or “Yes, and what else?” These words let a kid know you’re listening, you’re interested and you’ll give them your attention and time. These words encourage them to develop and express ideas. Believe it or not, they can help kids gain skills that are useful in school. And, of course, be sure you listen when they talk.
5. “I love you forever.” Even if you’re mad as heck or live far apart from your kids, they need to know you’re behind them, you love them for no reason except that you’re connected as father and child forever. Your love is their birthright.
And one more thing. Dads, if for any reason you’ve never heard these things from your father, say them to yourself. That works, too.
With love, Grandma.
5 Things Kids Need to Hear from Their Father
by Esther Jantzen, Ed.D.
Dads, this is a grandmother speaking. I have a bit of advice about raising children, if you’re open to hearing it. I know you had hard times growing up. Maybe your father was nice to you, maybe he wasn’t. Maybe you knew him well, maybe you didn’t. Your kids will have hard times, too–they’ll have disappointments, fear, hurt, shame, uncertainty, anger. We all do. But never, ever underestimate the importance of a father to kids.
I’ll give you five statements here that children need to hear from their father. Face-to-face is great, if possible, or on the phone, in a letter, or in some other way. These words help give kids emotional strength. You might not use exactly these phrases, and you wouldn’t use them all at once, but please make sure your child gets the message behind these powerful words.
1. “I’m proud…” you’re my son or daughter. You can say this out of the blue; it does not need to be connected to any achievement, although it could be. They’ll also get this message when you say, “I notice … how your drawings are changing … how you seem happier… or how you’re doing better at school.”
2. “That’s okay… How can you learn from that?” Use this when there’s been a mistake or problem. It teaches kids it’s normal, necessary, and perhaps even healthy to make mistakes. We all do. The important thing about a mistake is what you can learn from it. If you can learn from it, the guilt and hurt often go away.
3. “I’m sorry…” for ____. Fill in the blank. Maybe it would be… for yelling at you the other night… for missing your ball game… for not keeping my promise. When adults apologize, kids learn how to clean things up between people, and that’s something they need to know. And, of course, the best apology is changed behavior.
4. “Tell me more…” or “Yes, and what else?” These words let a kid know you’re listening, you’re interested and you’ll give them your attention and time. These words encourage them to develop and express ideas. Believe it or not, they can help kids gain skills that are useful in school. And, of course, be sure you listen when they talk.
5. “I love you forever.” Even if you’re mad as heck or live far apart from your kids, they need to know you’re behind them, you love them for no reason except that you’re connected as father and child forever. Your love is their birthright.
And one more thing. Dads, if for any reason you’ve never heard these things from your father, say them to yourself. That works, too.
With love, Grandma.
5 Things Kids Need to Hear from Their Father
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Muslims in Toronto need to start taking care of the poor. #fb
For Muslim poor, a shameful admission
http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/413881
http://www.thestar.com/News/GTA/article/413881
Friday, June 10, 2011
Downsized from 2000 sq feet to 320 sq feet with no mortgage!!, #fb
http://bestplaces.nydailynews.com/voyeur/family-ditches-mortgage-320-square-foot-home
Two years ago, Gary and Debra Jordan were living in a spacious 2000-square-foot home. When Gary lost his job as a construction manager, they struggled to make their mortgage payments. Both took on odd jobs, working long hours and spending less time together just to stay afloat......
The Arkansas couple found a local builder on Craigslist who custom-built them a new shotgun-style home — for less than $20,000.
"It's not what you don't have, it's what you do have," she said. "We just wanted a simple life and this helped contribute to that peaceful feeling. Not always rushing to make payments on a gigantic home."
Two years ago, Gary and Debra Jordan were living in a spacious 2000-square-foot home. When Gary lost his job as a construction manager, they struggled to make their mortgage payments. Both took on odd jobs, working long hours and spending less time together just to stay afloat......
The Arkansas couple found a local builder on Craigslist who custom-built them a new shotgun-style home — for less than $20,000.
"It's not what you don't have, it's what you do have," she said. "We just wanted a simple life and this helped contribute to that peaceful feeling. Not always rushing to make payments on a gigantic home."
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
One who understands others have knowledge. One who understands herself has wisdom, Mastering others requires force; Mastering the self needs strength. ~ Tao Te Ching ( The Great Way), Verse 33,#fb
One who understands others have knowledge. One who understands herself has wisdom, Mastering others requires force; Mastering the self needs strength. ~ Tao Te Ching ( The Great Way), Verse 33"
The Hajj and the Apartheid Train: Where Is the Muslim Outrage?
The Hajj and the Apartheid Train: Where Is the Muslim Outrage?
Ziyad MotalaLaw professor, Howard University School of Law, Dec 20, 2010
A pivotal theme in current Islamic political discourse is a demand for justice, a key tenet of the Quran. A popular complaint in Islamic political argument is discrimination against Muslims in the west such as the ban of the veil in European countries, minarets in Switzerland or racial profiling in many western countries. Unfortunately, there is a conspicuous lack of looking inwards to practices within Muslim countries. Muslims from all over the world have just completed the annual pilgrimage, the Hajj in Saudi Arabia. The Hajj represents a critical pillar of Islam and is supposed to represent a universal gathering of Muslims, which transcends race, ethnicity, color or any other distinction. Muslims are supposed to meet in the sacred precincts surrounding the holy city of Mecca as equals wearing the same simple clothing meant to symbolize perfect brotherhood, where individuals or groups do not see themselves as separate entities and differences of lineage, tribe or race have no bearing.
The experiences of the Hajj are very different depending on which part of the world you originate from. If you hail from Saudi Arabia or the Gulf states, you will perform the hajj in relative luxury and privilege, which is denied to Muslims from the sub-continent, Africa or the rest of the world. Those from Saudi Arabia and the Gulf states have a different Hajj based on luxurious accommodations, and preferential treatment in performing the rituals. The latest egregious practice is the high-speed rail service, which transports the pilgrims from Mecca to the sacred sites where the rituals of the Hajj are performed. The train is reserved only for Saudis and citizens from the Gulf countries. Citizens from Saudi Arabia and the Gulf countries can be transported to the holy sites within a few minutes. For others, they will have to take the bus or walk which could take many hours each day. I cannot think of any other place in the world today that practices such crass racism. Imagine a train in the United States that states no Arabs -- just people from the west -- can ride in. The real tragedy is the lack of outrage from Muslims.
The Hajj as a gathering of Muslims, based on equality, simplicity and brotherhood is a fiction. The Hajj is a gigantic money making endeavor. All visits to the holy place have to take place under the auspices of a Saudi institution or company, which is totally Saudi-owned. Every opportunity is geared towards profit maximization. The Saudi companies in turn enter into agreements with parties in the local country where the pilgrim resides. The Saudi company takes care of the negotiation with the local hotels and other parties to organize and pay for the accommodations and internal transportation and the like. Saudis have profited greatly from the pilgrims who have been exploited on a scale that is beyond imagination. A two week visit to Saudi Arabia during the Hajj period (if you are not sponsored) in modest accommodations costs more than a month-long world tour (not counting the fact that for five days during the two week period, the pilgrim is staying in a tent). Imagine the outrage if a Saudi was told that he could not do business in the United States (including booking a hotel) except though a United States entity?
Saudi Arabia represents one of the worse examples of a stratified society at the apex of which sits the descendants of its founder Ibn Saud constituted in the current royal family. And then appears a pecking order based on lineage or clan and others recognized as Saudi. Then come hundreds of thousands of individuals (including second and third generation Saudi born), followed by hundreds of thousands of foreign guest workers.
The sum total of rights and privileges enjoyed -- be it access to jobs, education, access to property, welfare benefits or the performance of the Hajj depends upon where one belongs in the pecking order. Those at the top enjoy considerable rights and power over those at the bottom. The most affected group is the foreign worker, particularly the foreign woman worker. These guest workers operate under a kafeel (master) to whom many are indebted for years, a situation that invites trafficking in people and a relationship akin to slavery. Over the past few days, we have been informed about several incidents of abuse of foreign guest workers from Indonesia in Saudi Arabia and other Gulf states. Where is the outrage from Muslims and their scholars? Each year, thousands of female workers seek protection at foreign embassies from abuse and rape. International human rights groups and others have documented the rampant abuse, lack of fair trial standards, denial of freedom of movement, forced labor approaching conditions of slavery and beating of foreign workers. Also documented is the weak judicial system, which offers little protection to those at the bottom, rung of society. The judicial system gives more credence to the wealthy and locals in disputes involving foreigners.
Islamic law derived from the sayings of the prophet Mohammad articulates a vision of human dignity (in ways analogous to modern human rights) in stating "No Arab has any superiority over a non-Arab, nor does a non-Arab have any superiority over an Arab; nor has a white man any superiority over a black man, or the black many any superiority over the white man. You are all the children of Adam, and Adam was created from Clay". Conspicuously absent are protests among Muslims about racism, racial discrimination, gender discrimination, xenophobia and related intolerance prevalent in so many Muslim countries starting with the cradle of Islam, Saudi Arabia.
Ziyad MotalaLaw professor, Howard University School of Law, Dec 20, 2010
A pivotal theme in current Islamic political discourse is a demand for justice, a key tenet of the Quran. A popular complaint in Islamic political argument is discrimination against Muslims in the west such as the ban of the veil in European countries, minarets in Switzerland or racial profiling in many western countries. Unfortunately, there is a conspicuous lack of looking inwards to practices within Muslim countries. Muslims from all over the world have just completed the annual pilgrimage, the Hajj in Saudi Arabia. The Hajj represents a critical pillar of Islam and is supposed to represent a universal gathering of Muslims, which transcends race, ethnicity, color or any other distinction. Muslims are supposed to meet in the sacred precincts surrounding the holy city of Mecca as equals wearing the same simple clothing meant to symbolize perfect brotherhood, where individuals or groups do not see themselves as separate entities and differences of lineage, tribe or race have no bearing.
The experiences of the Hajj are very different depending on which part of the world you originate from. If you hail from Saudi Arabia or the Gulf states, you will perform the hajj in relative luxury and privilege, which is denied to Muslims from the sub-continent, Africa or the rest of the world. Those from Saudi Arabia and the Gulf states have a different Hajj based on luxurious accommodations, and preferential treatment in performing the rituals. The latest egregious practice is the high-speed rail service, which transports the pilgrims from Mecca to the sacred sites where the rituals of the Hajj are performed. The train is reserved only for Saudis and citizens from the Gulf countries. Citizens from Saudi Arabia and the Gulf countries can be transported to the holy sites within a few minutes. For others, they will have to take the bus or walk which could take many hours each day. I cannot think of any other place in the world today that practices such crass racism. Imagine a train in the United States that states no Arabs -- just people from the west -- can ride in. The real tragedy is the lack of outrage from Muslims.
The Hajj as a gathering of Muslims, based on equality, simplicity and brotherhood is a fiction. The Hajj is a gigantic money making endeavor. All visits to the holy place have to take place under the auspices of a Saudi institution or company, which is totally Saudi-owned. Every opportunity is geared towards profit maximization. The Saudi companies in turn enter into agreements with parties in the local country where the pilgrim resides. The Saudi company takes care of the negotiation with the local hotels and other parties to organize and pay for the accommodations and internal transportation and the like. Saudis have profited greatly from the pilgrims who have been exploited on a scale that is beyond imagination. A two week visit to Saudi Arabia during the Hajj period (if you are not sponsored) in modest accommodations costs more than a month-long world tour (not counting the fact that for five days during the two week period, the pilgrim is staying in a tent). Imagine the outrage if a Saudi was told that he could not do business in the United States (including booking a hotel) except though a United States entity?
Saudi Arabia represents one of the worse examples of a stratified society at the apex of which sits the descendants of its founder Ibn Saud constituted in the current royal family. And then appears a pecking order based on lineage or clan and others recognized as Saudi. Then come hundreds of thousands of individuals (including second and third generation Saudi born), followed by hundreds of thousands of foreign guest workers.
The sum total of rights and privileges enjoyed -- be it access to jobs, education, access to property, welfare benefits or the performance of the Hajj depends upon where one belongs in the pecking order. Those at the top enjoy considerable rights and power over those at the bottom. The most affected group is the foreign worker, particularly the foreign woman worker. These guest workers operate under a kafeel (master) to whom many are indebted for years, a situation that invites trafficking in people and a relationship akin to slavery. Over the past few days, we have been informed about several incidents of abuse of foreign guest workers from Indonesia in Saudi Arabia and other Gulf states. Where is the outrage from Muslims and their scholars? Each year, thousands of female workers seek protection at foreign embassies from abuse and rape. International human rights groups and others have documented the rampant abuse, lack of fair trial standards, denial of freedom of movement, forced labor approaching conditions of slavery and beating of foreign workers. Also documented is the weak judicial system, which offers little protection to those at the bottom, rung of society. The judicial system gives more credence to the wealthy and locals in disputes involving foreigners.
Islamic law derived from the sayings of the prophet Mohammad articulates a vision of human dignity (in ways analogous to modern human rights) in stating "No Arab has any superiority over a non-Arab, nor does a non-Arab have any superiority over an Arab; nor has a white man any superiority over a black man, or the black many any superiority over the white man. You are all the children of Adam, and Adam was created from Clay". Conspicuously absent are protests among Muslims about racism, racial discrimination, gender discrimination, xenophobia and related intolerance prevalent in so many Muslim countries starting with the cradle of Islam, Saudi Arabia.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
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