Showing posts with label CHILDREN. Show all posts
Showing posts with label CHILDREN. Show all posts
Saturday, August 25, 2012
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
The Spiteful ex-wife
Why do courts insist we pay when we dads who love and miss our kids have no rights that allow us to say, “I’ll pay when I have access?” There’s been no contact for two years......
http://www.thestar.com/living/article/1082814--ellie-s-advice-don-t-confuse-your-requirement-to-pay-child-support-with-your-right-to-access
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Five Powerful Things Kids Need to Hear from Their Father, #fb
Five Powerful Things Kids Need to Hear from Their Father
by Esther Jantzen, Ed.D.
Dads, this is a grandmother speaking. I have a bit of advice about raising children, if you’re open to hearing it. I know you had hard times growing up. Maybe your father was nice to you, maybe he wasn’t. Maybe you knew him well, maybe you didn’t. Your kids will have hard times, too–they’ll have disappointments, fear, hurt, shame, uncertainty, anger. We all do. But never, ever underestimate the importance of a father to kids.
I’ll give you five statements here that children need to hear from their father. Face-to-face is great, if possible, or on the phone, in a letter, or in some other way. These words help give kids emotional strength. You might not use exactly these phrases, and you wouldn’t use them all at once, but please make sure your child gets the message behind these powerful words.
1. “I’m proud…” you’re my son or daughter. You can say this out of the blue; it does not need to be connected to any achievement, although it could be. They’ll also get this message when you say, “I notice … how your drawings are changing … how you seem happier… or how you’re doing better at school.”
2. “That’s okay… How can you learn from that?” Use this when there’s been a mistake or problem. It teaches kids it’s normal, necessary, and perhaps even healthy to make mistakes. We all do. The important thing about a mistake is what you can learn from it. If you can learn from it, the guilt and hurt often go away.
3. “I’m sorry…” for ____. Fill in the blank. Maybe it would be… for yelling at you the other night… for missing your ball game… for not keeping my promise. When adults apologize, kids learn how to clean things up between people, and that’s something they need to know. And, of course, the best apology is changed behavior.
4. “Tell me more…” or “Yes, and what else?” These words let a kid know you’re listening, you’re interested and you’ll give them your attention and time. These words encourage them to develop and express ideas. Believe it or not, they can help kids gain skills that are useful in school. And, of course, be sure you listen when they talk.
5. “I love you forever.” Even if you’re mad as heck or live far apart from your kids, they need to know you’re behind them, you love them for no reason except that you’re connected as father and child forever. Your love is their birthright.
And one more thing. Dads, if for any reason you’ve never heard these things from your father, say them to yourself. That works, too.
With love, Grandma.
5 Things Kids Need to Hear from Their Father
by Esther Jantzen, Ed.D.
Dads, this is a grandmother speaking. I have a bit of advice about raising children, if you’re open to hearing it. I know you had hard times growing up. Maybe your father was nice to you, maybe he wasn’t. Maybe you knew him well, maybe you didn’t. Your kids will have hard times, too–they’ll have disappointments, fear, hurt, shame, uncertainty, anger. We all do. But never, ever underestimate the importance of a father to kids.
I’ll give you five statements here that children need to hear from their father. Face-to-face is great, if possible, or on the phone, in a letter, or in some other way. These words help give kids emotional strength. You might not use exactly these phrases, and you wouldn’t use them all at once, but please make sure your child gets the message behind these powerful words.
1. “I’m proud…” you’re my son or daughter. You can say this out of the blue; it does not need to be connected to any achievement, although it could be. They’ll also get this message when you say, “I notice … how your drawings are changing … how you seem happier… or how you’re doing better at school.”
2. “That’s okay… How can you learn from that?” Use this when there’s been a mistake or problem. It teaches kids it’s normal, necessary, and perhaps even healthy to make mistakes. We all do. The important thing about a mistake is what you can learn from it. If you can learn from it, the guilt and hurt often go away.
3. “I’m sorry…” for ____. Fill in the blank. Maybe it would be… for yelling at you the other night… for missing your ball game… for not keeping my promise. When adults apologize, kids learn how to clean things up between people, and that’s something they need to know. And, of course, the best apology is changed behavior.
4. “Tell me more…” or “Yes, and what else?” These words let a kid know you’re listening, you’re interested and you’ll give them your attention and time. These words encourage them to develop and express ideas. Believe it or not, they can help kids gain skills that are useful in school. And, of course, be sure you listen when they talk.
5. “I love you forever.” Even if you’re mad as heck or live far apart from your kids, they need to know you’re behind them, you love them for no reason except that you’re connected as father and child forever. Your love is their birthright.
And one more thing. Dads, if for any reason you’ve never heard these things from your father, say them to yourself. That works, too.
With love, Grandma.
5 Things Kids Need to Hear from Their Father
Friday, February 11, 2011
Children are our future, please protect them well, #fb
Heartbreaking, how did this happen in Ontario??
DiManno: Stoney Creek home was ‘house of horrors’ for abused kids - Published On Thu Feb 10, 2011
DiManno: Stoney Creek home was ‘house of horrors’ for abused kids - Published On Thu Feb 10, 2011
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Blessed --Why I love my messy house
Blessed --Why I love my messy house
By Tammy Laws Lawson
Reprinted courtesy of "Chicken Soup for the Christian Family Soul."
A friend and I were standing in line at the grocery store the other day, and I was telling her how lazy my children were. I had come in from work that morning, and like most times, my house was wrecked.
"I believe children nowadays are just out for what they can get. I bend over backwards for them, and they can't even help keep our house clean. It wouldn't bother me so, but it's the woman who looks bad if the house is a mess.""Do you know how blessed you are?" a woman behind us asked. "I would love to go home and find my house a mess. I wouldn't mind my carpet being ruined or the dishes left everywhere. I wouldn't mind the dirty clothes being piled high or the many socks to match. I wouldn't even mind anyone talking about my dirty home. Matter of fact, I would love it. I would dearly love to kick my way through the house just to get to my kids and be able to hug them, kiss them and tell them how much I love them.
You see, my two children were killed in an auto accident and now it's just my husband and me. My house stays clean, my clothes stay put up, the dishes are done. There are no fingerprints on my walls, no mysterious spots on my carpets. There are no sounds of arguing, no slamming doors, no laughter, no 'I love you Mom.' So you see, you are very blessed. What I would give to be going through what you are right now. How I would love to be able to hold my kids, wipe away their tears, share their dreams. Just to watch them play. If I had my children, I wouldn't care how my house looked. I would be happy just to have them."
Now if you come into my house and see a big old mess, you can think bad thoughts if you want, but I feel greatly blessed.
By Tammy Laws Lawson
Reprinted courtesy of "Chicken Soup for the Christian Family Soul."
A friend and I were standing in line at the grocery store the other day, and I was telling her how lazy my children were. I had come in from work that morning, and like most times, my house was wrecked.
"I believe children nowadays are just out for what they can get. I bend over backwards for them, and they can't even help keep our house clean. It wouldn't bother me so, but it's the woman who looks bad if the house is a mess.""Do you know how blessed you are?" a woman behind us asked. "I would love to go home and find my house a mess. I wouldn't mind my carpet being ruined or the dishes left everywhere. I wouldn't mind the dirty clothes being piled high or the many socks to match. I wouldn't even mind anyone talking about my dirty home. Matter of fact, I would love it. I would dearly love to kick my way through the house just to get to my kids and be able to hug them, kiss them and tell them how much I love them.
You see, my two children were killed in an auto accident and now it's just my husband and me. My house stays clean, my clothes stay put up, the dishes are done. There are no fingerprints on my walls, no mysterious spots on my carpets. There are no sounds of arguing, no slamming doors, no laughter, no 'I love you Mom.' So you see, you are very blessed. What I would give to be going through what you are right now. How I would love to be able to hold my kids, wipe away their tears, share their dreams. Just to watch them play. If I had my children, I wouldn't care how my house looked. I would be happy just to have them."
Now if you come into my house and see a big old mess, you can think bad thoughts if you want, but I feel greatly blessed.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Children Learn What They Live
Children Learn What They Live
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte
By Dorothy Law Nolte, Ph.D.
If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte
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